This Moment

It feels like waiting for what's next.  If there is a lovely moment to be had, I tend to spoil it by separating myself to take a photo.  Put that photo in the world and wait for the comments and "likes" to come in.  Where am I in that moment?  Looking in from somewhere else.  I'm thinking less about how I feel in that time and place and more about the people who are not there (the ones I don't even know) and what they would be thinking and feeling.  Who cares?  I really shouldn't care and yet I care so much.  

I was cleaning up my desk and moving books and I found a folded piece of bright white paper written for me by a wonderfully wise woman.  

"How is it that I be in 'this moment.' Speak with and act as if he/she is already here.  How is it that I am infinite love."

After you lose something so valuable it can be hard to see the goodness and the love and it can be hard to stay in the moment.  Sometimes the moment is beautiful hurting and it's easy to hide away.  It can be easy to fill up with anger and regret.  Sometimes it fills me up like a hot stream of coffee. Filling the void between my head and my heart.